Movie Review: Transformers 2

wreckLast year during our USA trip we also visited the wonderful town of Lone Pine and the even more wonderful Alabama Hills (if you haven’t been there and like movies – go there! It’s a magical place). While we stayed there there was on site filming for the movie “Transformers 2”. Thus we have to go to the cinema and watch it. Today we did…

…and I must say I am impressed. Really impressed. This has been the biggest pile of shit I have seen in a long time. Wanna know more? Read on…

Let’s keep aside for a moment that I almost got into a fight with a dumbhead who was too stupid or incompetent to turn off his mobile phone – and he even didn’t turn it off after the first call he received. When I told him to turn off the phone during the second call, this dimwit really wanted to start a fistfight. And that was the most exciting and interesting experience while watching Transformers 2.

I am really amazed… and completely bewildered about how the Hollywood studio process looks like that allows such stories to pass the review process. If you want to call a random jumble of special effects a story. If I were a bank financing a studio I would be… disturbed.

But back to the so called movie. I’ll not repeat the content… because there is none. Random action sequences, many explosions, boring fights too confusing to follow, braindead dialogues, no story, no excitement, no meaning, no actors, no red line, more errors than in a typical first grader essay, logical holes so big that all decepticons combined easily fit through, endless stupidity and boredom, no actors, no story… oh, I already stated that.

I’m sorry but this blog entry will not be very substantial – as there was nothing substantial about the movie. I’m just amazed about

  • robots that sink aircraft carriers with a flick of their robotic brains but fail to kill some soldiers in a clearly identifyable spot in the desert,
  • special effects at such a high rate that you can’t even enjoy them,
  • dialogues that are so meaningless that… they defy meaning,
  • an obvious third part going to be filmed (which I won’t watch even if I were part of the cast),
  • characters to whom you just find no way to become attached but rather wish that they would get killed as soon as possible,
  • a very cheap robotic “Species” imitation (of which I can’t even remember if it got destroyed or just was forgotten by the script),
  • extremely not-funny sexual allusions all the time,
  • main actors that are even less lively than the car wrecks in the movie.

I could continue for hours. While I really love good action movies this one really was the most embarassing action movie in years. And I have seen a number of very very bad movies. Oh well… try at your own risk.

And if you by now are annoyed about the lack of factual criticism in this so-called review I have achieved my goal. Because this is how I feel about the lack of movie in Transformers 2.

6 Responses to “Movie Review: Transformers 2”

  1. Brian D  on July 12th, 2009

    Just wondering Herr Biskup, what are some of your favorite movies? 2001? M (Fritz Lang’s, I saw it in German class)?

  2. Pete  on July 21st, 2009

    You should have watched Mark Kermode’s review of it: http://ghostradio.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/video-mark-kermodes-review-of-transformers-2/

  3. ArchitecTonic  on July 26th, 2009

    I can imagine one reason for producing such a movie: you can say as much as you want that it falls under the conspiracy theory, but this movie was made just to take the first positions on Google’s search result returned for the query “transformers”, and that is done by them (conspiring people) in order to blind us (normal people) from the emerging technology of “transformers” which is the key for exchanging data and saving the planet from heterogeneity!

  4. Anzufvytar  on June 22nd, 2010

    “special effects at such a high rate that you can’t even enjoy them,”

    Sounds like Avatar to me 🙂

    Well, I’m a little sarcastic, because indeed I found Transformers 2 worse than Avatar, but, having seen both of them, they are both a pile of special effects with next to nothing else, in both cases, the technology display impressed me, but the movie didn’t. What made you enjoy so much Avatar but dislike so much this one?

    • Thomas_Biskup  on July 9th, 2010

      Avatar for me at least has a story – if not an original one. But it’s the classical epic like “Dances with wolves” and I seem to have a certain preference for underdog stories 🙂

      And Avatar IMHO had much better special effects than Transformers 2. Transformers 2 remains in my memory as an overdrive MTV video with no acting at all. Avatar for me was stereotyped, but in a good way. I can’t say for sure… the extraordinary 3D effects certains play a part in this. I already have the non 3D DVD at home but yet need to watch it – so I guess I will need to post an update after I know how well Avatar ages for me 😉

  5. Randa Berendt  on February 7th, 2011

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